Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
