the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The adults are the big ones right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
