Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
