I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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