he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
