I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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