Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
