I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He passed out mid-signature
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
