Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
