i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
