btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
