I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
