I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
