Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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