fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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