sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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