Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
