dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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