After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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