If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
