She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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