the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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