What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
