i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
