I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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