Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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