Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
