Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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