You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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