Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We got so high we made milksteak
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
