Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
