She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I believe in your delicious
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
