You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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