Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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