whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
