Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
