Redeem this text for a blowjob
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
