WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
