It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
