We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
love makes seman taste better
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
