What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
