i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
