I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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