On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
