Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
