Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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