sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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