Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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