i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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