A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
