"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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